It's a Man, Baby!
by SpellboundWinter
Summary: Tweek finds out something interesting about Rebecca late one night. TweekxRebecca. One-shot.


**A super non-serious Tweebecca, Twebecca or TweekRebecca... Whatever people call it. It made me giggle and I hope it makes you too.**

**I tried writing in 3rd person... I prefer 1st.**

**Big thanks to my friends who helped me out when I was stumped. :D**

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><p>Not a lot happens in a small town...<p>

"…And tonight has a low of seven below-"

Tweek is currently seated in his bed, leaning on the headboard as he changed the station for the tenth time, switching from the sweet looking forecaster mid-sentence to another channel that held little or no interest to him.

She's right though. It was indeed a cold one in the small mountain town. But thankfully, nothing was out of the ordinary. No robots, no killer trapper keepers and most importantly... no pressure.

It was just a normal snowy night, just how Tweek liked it.

But, with normality comes a price. He's bored. There wasn't a lot to do on nights like this and especially in a town like this one. Not courageous enough to brave the cold outside, Tweek's bedridden.

Having ADD and being seated for long periods of time was just too much pressure as well.

Rebecca let out another loud mumble, shifting onto her side and pulling at his arm, snuggling it close.

Yup nothing to do, that's for sure.

Tweek lets the sleeping girl practically pull his arm off as he sips more of the percolated coffee he made earlier. It's turned cold but coffee is coffee. And no coffee gets left behind while Tweek is around.

He sets the freshly empty cup on the nightstand and grabs up the remote for the eleventh time. Again, he's like a zombie, clicking buttons with no rhyme or reason.

News paranoia, boring sitcoms and reality TV that wasn't too much into reality.

What is there to do? It was already eleven and Rebecca was passed out in his bed. What could he possibly do in a house, all alone with a pretty girl?

Nothing, he supposes.

She was busy with college all the time. Exhausted. Rushing back and forth between her laptop and textbooks. Falling asleep at eight was a new thing for her too. Rebecca's usual professional look was replaced with messy buns and pajamas. Not that he minded. He liked the weekend when she would visit.

Tweek wonders what college is like and can't help but feel a little jealous. He never got the chance to do what he wanted. Although, neither did Rebecca. They had to follow the expectations of their parents. Like dogs on tight leashes; mother and father knew the best for them.

Maybe that's why they got along so well?

Maybe they were both sides of the same coin. Maybe not a coin but card... Maybe they were in the same suit. Same fate but different people. Being shuffled around carelessly and being manipulated at others will.

Lost in his thoughts that soon spiral into the nonsensical, he finds its best to shut off the TV and lies the remote next to his coffee cup.

Tweek has to be careful with his paranoia and anxiety. He had a habit of getting carried away. And the wee hours of the night made it even worse. It was best just to take a few pills and hit the hay.

And he decides to do just that.

He reaches into his nightstand drawer, pulling out an orange bottle. On the prescription it says it helps with insomnia…

Rebecca lets Tweek go and curls further down into the blankets. The brunette kicked the covers off her legs with a groan.

But then, something catches his eye and like the curious cat he was, he focuses all his attention on the one thing.

It was somewhat odd about the poodle girl. The covers would be way over her head while her legs dangled out in the cold night air. Tweek was the exact opposite. The thought of Tweek's feet left out in the cold makes him shiver.

Then his brain takes a quick 180 and he thinks about her legs for a moment, tapping the remote against his chin.

He had never once seen her legs. Ever.

Sure, a peek or two from the wind hitting her skirt just right or the sun catching the dark stocking but never had he seen her full legs. Especially the under fabric. They never came off. Ever.

Maybe her legs had teeth embedded in them? Or maybe they were infested with bugs! Little termites and worms burrowing into skin. AGH! He hated bugs! It just made him want to spray her down with pesticide... or chop off her legs.

"Ngh, too much pressure..." he mutters under his breath.

And just like that, Tweek's paranoia went from a low fifty to fifty thousand.

He needed to know what was under those weird socks. He needed to know _now_. Wouldn't it be wrong to invade on Rebecca privacy? Especially when she slept? But...What could one little peek do anyways?

Tweek shifts over to the end of the bed stealthily, seeing her only a part of her leg peeking out of the covers. It was no use... The strange color that the fabric gave off against her skin made it impossible to see the bugs. He had to go... Go all the way.

With a small swallow, he gently raises the layer of blankets up and folds it over neatly. He peeks at the black stockings and the skirt lying perfectly over legs.

Pristine, even when she was sleeping.

He remembers Tammy forcing him to touch her legs in front of a very flustered Rebecca and bored Craig. The man in the blue chullo just sat there and drank his soda as Tammy wildly flung herself all over the poor blonde. On a side note, Craig really, really didn't belong with her.

Out of that terrifying experience he remembers they were soft to the touch. Silky and nothing like his.

Now onto the trek.

Tweek takes in a collective sigh as if it were his last, lifting her skirt only a little to reveal one thigh. Finding it the simple black band of the stocking, he loops his fingers around it and rolls the black fabric down to her ankle, revealing a full leg.

And... It was... it was...

Relief floods over him as he sees that it's a simple, pale extremity with no impurities or bugs.

Something stirred in Tweek's stomach. Like a bunch of moths finding flame for the first time. Something inside him changes.

He reaches out a trembling hand to the skin. Callused fingers roam over her smooth skin of her thighs down to her knee cap… everything was fine…

Everything until…

Something pricks him. He frowns, rubbing over the little patch again, feeling that her shin… it's prickly, like a cactus. He leans down, squinting. "Hair..?"

It wasn't long hair it was tiny prickles… Oh no, no, no, no, no! It could only mean one thing!

Tweek's paranoia went from fifty thousand to fifty million.

He practically flings himself to night table, trying his hardest to get out of the room with little or no noise. He pockets his cell phone and gives Rebecca another glance before he threw himself to the floor.

Scooting like an inch worm, he pathetically army crawls out of the room, into the hall and finally into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. With a press of a button, Craig's number was dialed.

Of course Craig was on speed dial.

Craig, Tweek's go to pseudo-therapist. Although, he didn't sign up for the job, he would take on the liberty of guiding Tweek through his life. The bad stuff anyways.

Tweek needs a hell of a lot of guidance, would you want that job? No? Right.

A few rings later and a bland voice speaks up tiredly. "...You better be dying."

"_CRAIG_!" Tweek could barely contain his nervousness, shrieking into the phone like some kind of horror film. "Craig, Craig! She's a man!"

The blonde perches himself on the toilet, wrapping his arm around his knees, rocking back and forth, eyes swinging back and forth anxiously. Craig didn't speak a word back and it made Tweek even more on edge. "It's Rebecca! Oh god, I've been catfish'd. She's a he!"

Sighing into the receiver, the noirette answers his flustered friend. "Oh my fucking God, is this what you woke me for? You _should_ know your girlfriends gender. It's blatantly obvious."

"No! She's a man! She's got-"

"Tweek, do you want me to put Tammy on the phone? I'm sure she can tell you that Rebecca is a girl," The phone shifts and Craig mumbles angrily. A loud feminine groan splits through the silence with a little, 'fuck you Craig,' afterwards.

A moment later Craig is back and still just as pissed. "See? Take some of your pills and go to bed. You know how you are at night."

"Ngh! You're not even listening! It was so prickly, like a cactus!" Tweek screeches, trying to explain himself. "Only men are born with hair on their legs!"

"Of course girls have hair on their legs."

"What if he tries to kill me?!" The blonde grasps his head with a whimper. "Rebecca's gonna smash my head in when I'm asleep. Please come over Craig, please help me."

"…I'm done with this conversation. Good night Tweek."

Just like that he hung up. Tweek peers at phone. No, Rebecca had already got him... that, that manly bastard. There was no reason he would just hang up! No reason!

Tweek picks up on a sound emanating from the door. Soft tapping and meek whimpers. He slips off the toilet and onto his face. He's trembling and shaking when he finally picks himself up. "Who is it?" he calls meekly.

The twitchy blonde eyeballs the knob as it turns slowly and the door creaks open.

A disheveled Rebecca stands in the doorway, her eyes drooping and a bit of dried drool is noticeable on her chin. Her usual poufy hair is even poufier. Tweek would have laughed at the sight but not at the moment.

Rebecca wipes her face tiredly, stumbling inside. "Mmmh… T-Tweek? Swe-swee-sweetie... Ngh, what's going on? C-Come back to bed. B-e-d." she holds her hands out, expectant that Tweek would sweep her off her feet and carry her to bed, like he always did.

Not tonight.

Tweek shifts away, sinking into the wall like she was some sort of demon spitting pea soup. "Stay away from me _ROBERT_!" he points the phone at her. "You're a liar! De-deceiver!"

"W-what on earth…?" she seems to wake up, her hands automatically flinging to her mouth. "Wh-what are you talking about? I-I'm always honest with you Tweek."

"You're a man! There's hair on your legs. Women don't have hair on their legs." The blonde eye twitches, thinking of grabbing things close to him to fling at her. Instead he readies his phone, aiming for her face. When in doubt, batter someone down with your junker phone.

"O-o-oh, well... I-I've been busy with everything lately. My finals are coming up, I'm preoccupied..." she glances down to see her stocking is hanging out down by her ankle, "Wait, were you... feeling me up when I was asleep?"

"I-I… uh, got curious and I wanted to see your legs," Tweek flushes a bright red, avoiding her eyes before returning with a defiant glare. "Bu-but that's not the point! Ngh, you've been lying to me!

"T-Tweek, you know I'm a wo-woman. F-e-m-a-l-e." she pleads. Rebecca takes a few steps forward and Tweek stares at her. Studying her.

There was only one way to verify this. He lunges forward and grabs her hips. Dragging her close, he barks down to her. "Prove it!"

Rebecca yips, nearly shooting out of his fingers. Tweek wasn't exactly the touchy feel-y one. And having him be so ballsy and snatch her out of the blue was enough to make her like a grilled cheese and melt. "Agh! P-p-p-prove... Prov-prove what?"

"Prove that you're a woman. Pull down your skirt, Robert." he demands, no, he wasn't asking.

"What?!" She yelps, her cheeks redder than her hair clips. "There is no way I'm going to… show you anything dirty until we're married."

Rebecca wasn't going to do anything until she had a gold band on her finger. True, there were the urges Rebecca always had to pounce on the oh-so innocent Tweek but she made a promise to herself there wouldn't be any sexual acts of any kind. Tweek was compliant. Sure, there was kissing and the occasional grope but... flashing Tweek? That would go against that little promise.

And to think he would be the one wanting to break it!

"I'm not marrying a liar," Before Rebecca could protest her voice is lost in her throat as Tweek fumbles with the bottom of her skirt, lifting it up. "Ngh, show me… I need to see."

A hand smashes into his cheek and another pushes her skirt back down. "T-Tweek, you're acting crazy!" She jitters and twists wildly, trying to free herself of his grasp. "Ngh, we can't be doing this! I'm saving myself for marri-AGH!"

She's cut off as the two go fumbling through the shower curtain and into the bathtub.

...Wow.

Tweek blinks off the rush of pain, realizing that he has tumbled over her and out of sheer luck, still has a hold on her hips. His face grows hot seeing the... rather lewd position.

Rebecca claws her way out of the painful looking position of being half in and half out of the bathtub and whimpers. "O-ow! My b-r-a-i-n." She clutches the back of her head, eyes watering.

Tweek would have helped her and would have comforted her but... His eyes were too busy raking over her flipped up skirt and what had lied beneath it all this time.

And it turns out she _is_ a woman.

Tweek darts out from between her legs as she scrambles to cover up her undergarments. "Ngh, Rebecca... I didn't mean to-"

The next thing Tweek knew was a foot coming in contact in between his legs. All the air leaves his lungs as he collapses on the tile, crumpled up in pain.

The brunette steps out of the tub and drops down next to the man, placing a hand on his back soothingly. "Oh, I-I-I'm sorry… but I'm not sorry," she explains. "I told you not to do that!"

He just coughs in response, shuttering as she spouts. "I love you, u-uh, let's get married!"

Tweek lifts his head up, his face red and contorted in pain as he hisses. "Ngh, too much pres... sure." his forehead slams back down on the floor.

And that concluded the mystery of what lied under her stocking... And if she was a man.

There wasn't a lot to do on nights like that one and especially in a small town.


End file.
